I received this through an e-mail today. I changed some of the comments to something more like what I would think. Even if all of these aren’t true, they are still funny. ^_^ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hair dryer — Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
(and that would be how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turnupside down.”
(That information could have been helpful BEFORE)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
(What is the definition of heat again?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me more time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness..”
(Why am I taking this?)
On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to…..what)?
On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts! — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: uh…fly Delta)
On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chain saw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)